Welcome everyone! I want to share with you all how Sharing Kailynn’s Sunshine Foundation, Inc. came to be. It has not been a long drawn out process of contemplating back and forth. Really what I am sharing is how the name came to be and what the name means to me. Losing Kailynn has made me really step back and take a look at my life, and compare it to how Kailynn lived her life. As a parent, you don’t always try to see things through your children’s eyes or from their point of view. Most likely due to being busy, stressed, overworked, etc. Once Kailynn was gone, that is all I did. I would try to relive our memories in my mind. What was she wearing? What did she laugh at? What was the argument about? As time has moved along, I now think more in terms of what would Kailynn do? What would she say? What would Kailynn think? I was outside doing chores one morning, and this is all I could think about. How Kailynn’s death has brought out the best in me. Sounds odd, doesn’t it? But it happened. I really didn’t know how to comprehend how I felt about it though. Read below as I put my thoughts to paper (as Kailynn would have!):
SHARING KAILYNN’S SUNSHINE: How the death of my daughter brought out the best in me.
I am not saying that I was a bad person before Kailynn died. I just gave to my circle and rarely went beyond in giving; physically, materialistically or emotionally. I don’t think that makes me a bad person; it just puts me in the middle of the masses.
When I learned of Kailynn’s accident and went through the final week of her life by her side, my mind wandered daily. From memories of her as a little girl, to trying to imagine a life without her. When she gained her angel wings, a day after her 17th birthday, the one thought that came to my mind was, this girl of mine, did everything to the maximum. She completed things full circle; including her life. Born August 21, died August 22. You can’t be any more complete than that. And in those 6,210 days that she lived, she gave all. In her school work, in her job, and more importantly, in her relationships. Those who knew Kailynn, knew she would give you the shirt off her back. She would find something good in everyone she met. Her smile was infectious, as was her laugh. Her eyes sparkled with life and happiness.
After thinking of everything that Kailynn did in her short 17 years, I realized she did a lifetime of good in a very short time. I wonder what she could have done had she lived? I decided then that I had to live my life as I think she would. Giving, with compassion and empathy. Not pitying people, but just no strings attached giving.
Initially, I was up and down. The giving was easy, but the emotional toll it takes sometimes isn’t. While I am giving, my heart is full, but is broken still knowing that Kailynn isn’t physically here. It also tears at my soul thinking that it took Kailynn’s death for me to realize all this.
I was once told that we all set out our paths for ourselves before we are born. Whether you think this is true or not, I believe Kailynn has set out MY path. She is guiding me through everything. I get a sense of peace, a hint of happiness, when I see the smiling faces of those who are benefiting from Kailynn’s light.
It was after a whirlwind fundraiser and participating in the Home for Dinner program at the Ronald McDonald House in Saskatoon, that I knew this was my path. It would not be my only path, but definitely one of my new paths to follow. The path that Kailynn will always accompany me. She is with me always, but I feel her stronger on this particular journey.
After a quick visit with Kailynn’s best friend and her mom, I had told them that I had been thinking that we needed to coin a phrase associated with all the fundraisers, etc. that we do in Kailynn’s memory. And that is how Sharing Kailynn’s Sunshine came to be. She was and is our local ray of sunshine as she stated on her Facebook profile. Her rays of light guide us all. And that light will never dim. Her legacy of giving, compassion and empathy will continue in all of her friends and family, and even strangers who contribute to all we do.
Kailynn may be gone from this earth, but her legacy lives on and even though I lost her physical being, her heart and soul are now within me and I will strive to share that with everyone. Thank you Kailynn, for bringing out the best in me xoxoxo